Carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments. But, marriage counselors and psychology experts generally agree that only you can satisfy those needs. You should not consider yourself an empty emotional vessel to be filled by your spouse. You need to take responsibility for your own fulfillment, and the best way to do that is to consider and satisfy your spouse's needs first. Willard F. Harley, Jr. His numerous books on marriage and relationships include His Needs, Her Needswhich focuses on the needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. According to Harley, satisfying your own emotional needs means putting your spouse's desires ahead of your own. Some of these needs include affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support, and family commitment.
Even if codependents are very good by meeting needs of other ancestor, many are clueless about their own needs. They have problems identifying, expressing, and fulfilling their needs and wants. They can be very attuned to the needs and desires of erstwhile people, fulfilling and even anticipating them. Over the years, they become so used to accept others that they lose the connection to their own desire and wants. This pattern starts in childhood, when our desire were ignored or shamed. At the same time as children we had to acclimatize to the needs of our parents, who may have been physically or mentally ill, captivate, or just emotionally or actually unavailable. Some of us had to adapt to the wants and expectations of a egocentric or controlling parent just en route for survive.
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