When parents or teachers criticized you, rather than any poor behavior choices you may have made, they planted the seed of shame. Shame centers on your very identity as a person, and it becomes particularly toxic when it starts to impact your sense of self. Toxic shame opens the door to anger, self-disgust, and other less-than-desirable feelings. It can make you feel small and worthless. It can trickle into your inner dialogue like a poison, locking you into a painful loop of negative self-talk. When toxic shame lingers without resolution, the desire to hide from it or escape from yourself can lead to potentially harmful behaviors like substance misuse or self-harm. Shame often has a cultural component. It can help maintain social norms by reinforcing the idea that certain behaviors can harm others and have a negative impact on society.
Sucks to be you. Who allay kind of does. I appreciate the crap you deal along with. He must drive you nuts. Mary was such a absolute, beautiful soul.
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